The Unlucky Pirate

A pirate walks into a tavern. He has a wooden leg, a hook instead of a hand and a patch over his right eye. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer.

The curious young man sitting next to him asks the pirate how he came to have a wooden leg.

The pirate replies, “Well, I was standing on the deck of me ship one day and a wave washed me overboard. Then a shark came along and bit me leg off.”

The young man then asked, “How did you lose your hand?”

“Many years ago, I was fighting the British, and one of the bastards cut me hand off,” answered the pirate. “They couldn’t find a hand, so they put this hook on me.”

Next, the young man asked, “How did you lose your eye?”

“I was standing on the deck of me boat,” says the pirate, “and a bird flew over and shit in my eye.”

The young man, now completely confused, says, “That’s it? A bird shit in your eye and you lost it?”

The pirate replies, “Well, it was me first day with the hook.”